SIBLINGS STRUGGLES WITH LOVE.

With kids, at first they feel their siblings is competition...His here to reduce my share of Everything, be better than me, divert our parents love from me , all these are true, yes it might be a good struggle for all things.

My boys will always feel like they need to fight for everything, food, toys, attention and I keep reminding them they need each other, but still the struggle continues, something happened one day, food was served and the younger one refuse to eat except his elder brother eat with him, (this time He was not hungry), I notice him pulling and urging him to come and eat with him.

I realise that even when they struggle, they love their struggles and miss each other, when the other is not there.

Children will be children, don't think they are not paying attention or listening to you, sometimes they hear you loud and clear, and other times do those things you said, to your own amazement.

The struggles and fight brews Love between them, they are getting to know and understand each other better, tolerate each other better, and live with each other better.

My top tips for siblings struggles and fight for older children -

• If you have more than one child, except sibling rivalry
• Focus on the good things about having siblings
• Teach your children that fair does not mean equal.
• Do not favour one child.
• Spend one -on- one time with each child
• View each child as an individual, do not compare
• Teach skills to settle conflicts peacefully
• Treat others how you want your children to treat each other.
• Only get involved in sibling problems when someone may be hurt.
• Lastly have a home that values respect and understanding.

This tips are guidelines you can always check yourself to follow and improve on them as time goes on

Have you noticed that good brothers and sisters, make great companions to every one they meet, they understand people more because they had first hand experience in their homes with their siblings.

Not every sibling relationship turn out great, but they must be this one sibling that knows you and understand you. That's your friend, lucky you.

HOW TO REMAIN CALM WITH YOUR CHILD.

This says it all...they will thank you all their Lives.

Trying to stay calm when children's behaviour become overbearing, and reacting accordingly is one step that so difficult to remember especially when upset. It takes a lot of discipline and self control to not loose it and remain rational.

Bringing up your children can be immensely stressful and frustrating, with most parents feel wound up by their children's behaviour at times, occasionally loosing their cool and reacting in a way they later Regret.

Tips for staying cool in the heat of the moment.

1. Have an Open Mind: The way you view your child's behaviour will influence the effect it has on you. Try not to see things in a negative light,  don't think your child is just trying to press your buttons, thereby annoying you.

  This relatively advanced type of thought process does not develop until around age three or four years. Try to view your toddler for what he is; a little person enjoying his new found ability to move around and explore with huge curosity the fascinating world around him, He doesn't understand that his actions affect other people, has not developed the ability for self control so will act on impulse, no sense of time so will just not be able to wait.

If an older child, you feel is deliberately pushing your buttons, try to look at why they may be behaving like that, maybe they feel that's the only way to get what they want? Make sure your child gets attention for all the positive behaviours you want to see more of.


2. Treat the problem: A child needs to know you Love them and what you really despise is the wrong attitude or behaviour they displayed.
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 Avoid being judgemental, making comparisms, curse or neglect your child, for this can bring about emotional distress and low self esteem at the long run.

 Doing these would make your children more trusting and calm to listen and learn from their mistakes, of course they should know mistakes are ways to learn and become better individually.

3. Give Clear Consequences: When a child knows what's coming to him when he defaults, He understands this is the result for my wrong behaviour...both the child and the parent will not feel so wounded up in most situations which can prompt harsh reactions.

 The parents should in clear, crisps and simple tone state what the purnishment is for each default or wrong behaviour, always having in mind to communicate the default to the child's understanding.

 Communicating with your child even before the act is committed helps a lot.

 If a child's done something He's never done before, take ample time before addressing the issue, we make better decisions when we are calm.

PARENTING: IT'S CHALLENGES AND REWARDS

             

We do hear that parenting is hard, that we will make a lot of mistakes along the way and that Everything will eventually be alright no matter what.

  Is the last sentence really true, will Everything be alright no matter what?.....Maybe.

  Parenting is as important as the genes we're born with, parenting can determine whether everything will be alright in many cases.

  "So I met this lady over the weekend, and she couldn't stress enough the challenges and changes she's experienced Since she joined motherhood; the Stress of taking care of her little one alone, the midnight screams, lack of sleep, pains all over her body and how she's gradually losing her mind!"

  This seems to be the norm for every new parent, it seems to bring so much depression and Stress...BUT, (yes there's a but), Every time you look at your little one and he/she smiles back, your pains and stress melts away, When you see your child and imagine a future, where you have someone who can love you and care for you all your life unconditionally, it makes the whole process worth it., If u raise a helping child,(one who loves to help out) you find it's no longer as stressful as it was and you actually have support and help at all times, also helping your child in turn.

The rewards of parenting are countless, it ranges from seeing the world through the eyes of a child, you feel young again and imagine things like them, the feeling of being needed is Wonderful and Satisfying.
 The bond you share with your child is likely to bring you great joy, it may not be unconditional at times especially during the teenage years, but for the most part is a love like no other..
 Although parenting brings challenges and disappointments, its also brings Optimism, giggles, liveliness and energy into your home, as well as a sense of satisfaction and most importantly Love.

It's a lifetime Journey like I always say, and we learn everyday, the challenges won't go away but you will learn to manage them and enjoy your children's company in time.

There is no perfect parent anywhere, just focus on being the parent your child needs!

SIBLING'S BOND

 
      The connection is hard to describe in a single word, the Sibling relationship is life's longest lasting relationship, It last longer than our relationship with our children, longer than a spouse and with the exception of few lucky men and women longer than a bestfriend...

    Being around for a while makes you understand that being Siblings and friends are two different relation -ships....no wonder some siblings can fight for everything and wants what the next person has...
    We can be sisters and still not be as close as a friend, its a constant struggle between both parents wih the children, both siblings struggle daily to form that closeness and alliance between themselves.

 
     This journey is what my blog will insight, teach and help both parents and siblings to form that bond in their day to day Interactions and help our children become best friends, for Siblings to enjoy the comfort felt when you sit in the same room with your brother and Sister, in pure silence, yet you both know how the other is feeling, it's picking up right where you left off, even if it's being weeks, months, or years since the last deep conversation. it's the knowledge that, at the end of the day you'll always be able to call on that person for support.

           
 
    Having a friend is a choice but we all know we cannot choose our family, how can we make our family become a choice if given, we'll choose again? Its going to be a great ride as I discuss and handle situations that would normally drift the family apart... but instead we'll make the most of it here.
    Steps to ensure your children value, love and respect each other, I myself am passionate about this, parenting is a course that takes a lifetime and we must be open to learn everyday.
       A happy family makes a happy you.