SIBLINGS STRUGGLES WITH LOVE.

With kids, at first they feel their siblings is competition...His here to reduce my share of Everything, be better than me, divert our parents love from me , all these are true, yes it might be a good struggle for all things.

My boys will always feel like they need to fight for everything, food, toys, attention and I keep reminding them they need each other, but still the struggle continues, something happened one day, food was served and the younger one refuse to eat except his elder brother eat with him, (this time He was not hungry), I notice him pulling and urging him to come and eat with him.

I realise that even when they struggle, they love their struggles and miss each other, when the other is not there.

Children will be children, don't think they are not paying attention or listening to you, sometimes they hear you loud and clear, and other times do those things you said, to your own amazement.

The struggles and fight brews Love between them, they are getting to know and understand each other better, tolerate each other better, and live with each other better.

My top tips for siblings struggles and fight for older children -

• If you have more than one child, except sibling rivalry
• Focus on the good things about having siblings
• Teach your children that fair does not mean equal.
• Do not favour one child.
• Spend one -on- one time with each child
• View each child as an individual, do not compare
• Teach skills to settle conflicts peacefully
• Treat others how you want your children to treat each other.
• Only get involved in sibling problems when someone may be hurt.
• Lastly have a home that values respect and understanding.

This tips are guidelines you can always check yourself to follow and improve on them as time goes on

Have you noticed that good brothers and sisters, make great companions to every one they meet, they understand people more because they had first hand experience in their homes with their siblings.

Not every sibling relationship turn out great, but they must be this one sibling that knows you and understand you. That's your friend, lucky you.

HOW TO REMAIN CALM WITH YOUR CHILD.

This says it all...they will thank you all their Lives.

Trying to stay calm when children's behaviour become overbearing, and reacting accordingly is one step that so difficult to remember especially when upset. It takes a lot of discipline and self control to not loose it and remain rational.

Bringing up your children can be immensely stressful and frustrating, with most parents feel wound up by their children's behaviour at times, occasionally loosing their cool and reacting in a way they later Regret.

Tips for staying cool in the heat of the moment.

1. Have an Open Mind: The way you view your child's behaviour will influence the effect it has on you. Try not to see things in a negative light,  don't think your child is just trying to press your buttons, thereby annoying you.

  This relatively advanced type of thought process does not develop until around age three or four years. Try to view your toddler for what he is; a little person enjoying his new found ability to move around and explore with huge curosity the fascinating world around him, He doesn't understand that his actions affect other people, has not developed the ability for self control so will act on impulse, no sense of time so will just not be able to wait.

If an older child, you feel is deliberately pushing your buttons, try to look at why they may be behaving like that, maybe they feel that's the only way to get what they want? Make sure your child gets attention for all the positive behaviours you want to see more of.


2. Treat the problem: A child needs to know you Love them and what you really despise is the wrong attitude or behaviour they displayed.
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 Avoid being judgemental, making comparisms, curse or neglect your child, for this can bring about emotional distress and low self esteem at the long run.

 Doing these would make your children more trusting and calm to listen and learn from their mistakes, of course they should know mistakes are ways to learn and become better individually.

3. Give Clear Consequences: When a child knows what's coming to him when he defaults, He understands this is the result for my wrong behaviour...both the child and the parent will not feel so wounded up in most situations which can prompt harsh reactions.

 The parents should in clear, crisps and simple tone state what the purnishment is for each default or wrong behaviour, always having in mind to communicate the default to the child's understanding.

 Communicating with your child even before the act is committed helps a lot.

 If a child's done something He's never done before, take ample time before addressing the issue, we make better decisions when we are calm.